Walking around the house today, I had time to look at the various manger scenes we have collected through the years.

My children had their favorites, but when I was a little girl, we only had one nativity.

Placing the Christ Child and Mary and Joseph, and all of the animals and kings and shepherds in the manger was a special Christmas tradition. I wondered about the star, the angels, but especially about Mary and Joseph. Your children may be doing some wondering as well, so let’s think about what some of those questions might be and how you might answer them.

Children are so practical, that it may not be the spiritually rich questions that they are wondering about. At least not at first. With new words to consider like frankincense, and swaddling, and sore afraid, and…

“Mommy, what does virgin mean?”  Your daughter asks as she is arranging the nativity on the coffee table.

You, however, are focused on untangling the tree lights and can’t really hear her over the high volume of Elf in the background.

“VIRGIN MARY” she asks again, but in equal volume….”What does VIRGIN mean?”

“OH!” looking up, “MARY! Yes, she is called the Virgin Mary because she wasn’t married yet.”

After a pause, you start again.

“She had never been close to a man, like a wife and husband are.”

You wonder if it’s easier to untangle the lights or the words you are tossing out.

“Huh??”Her 6-year-old eyes are squinting.

You put down the tree lights, find the remote to turn down the volume, and cross your legs to sit on the floor next to her at the coffee table.

As you pick up the Virgin Mary, you tell her sweetly, “Mary was a young lady engaged to Joseph….that means that they were intending to get married, but were not yet married, so they did not live together or sleep together. She had kept herself pure for her husband, which meant that she had not shared her body with any man.  The Bible tells us all of this. God chose her to give birth to His son, Jesus. God sent an angel to tell Mary all about it, and at first Mary was a little scared, but more than anything she was honored to be Jesus’ mother, because she loved God.”

Now you pick up Joseph.

Actually you accidentally pick up a shepherd, but your daughter corrects you and hands you Joseph.

“Joseph loved Mary, but when he found out that Mary was pregnant with the baby Jesus, he could not understand how that could have happened. God had never done anything like this before, and Joseph was thinking that perhaps Mary had become pregnant by being with some other man. An angel from God came to Joseph and reassured him that indeed God had placed his Only Son in Mary’s womb and that they were to name the baby Jesus because He would save His people from their sins.”

“From that time on, Joseph took very good care of both Mary and the Christ Child that she was carrying. He was probably the first to see Jesus when He was born! He and Mary knew from the beginning that Jesus was fully God and fully man, and they were amazed!”

By this time she is reaching for the remote because this is now her favorite part of Elf.

But you look on in wonder…. again. And someday, she will, too!

Almost every time I speak, I am asked how to explain conception and birth to adopted children. There are particular issues that come up both for the parents (explaining birth when you haven’t experienced it can be emotional), and for the children as they grow up understanding their story of origin.

It has been my honor to be associated with Tapestry…a wonderful group that addresses all of the adoption and foster family issues in such an encouraging way.

The 2011 Tapestry Adoption & Foster Care Conference will be held on Saturday, October 29, from 9:00 am to 3:30 pm in Irving, Texas. You can visit www.tapestryconference.org and take a look at the various sessions and speakers that are lined up. I’ll be one of the break-out speakers, and I’d love to meet you there!

Even though nearly 1,000 people have signed up, there is still room for more, and the folks at Tapestry want to make sure that every adoptive and foster family who wants to is able to come, so here is some really good news…the conference is FREE!! It is important to register, however, so please get to that website today!

You also might want to check out the 10 great reasons that people should join us for the 2011 Tapestry Conference. You can see the list at http://tapestryministry.org/?p=2136

I’m looking forward to being a guest on the radio program Point of View on Monday October 10 from 2:00-4:00. Kerby Anderson is the host, and people seem to call in with very interesting questions…you could be one of them!

If you are in Dallas, please listen on 91.2 FM or you can go to the website www.pointofview.net and listen at any time.

I wondered if that had somehow traumatized either Dave or Davis??

Well, yesterday was the opening of dove season here in Texas, and it looks likes they handled it pretty well.

We will be having a delicious feast tomorrow night at a gathering of Davis’ friends and their parents with grilled dove,  chile cheese grits, salad, and I’m suppose to bring dessert…. any suggestions?

Many thanks to Neil Harris for treating all of the fathers and sons to a great hunt at their farm in Sanger, Texas.

According to research, that answer depends on the age of your child. From ages 0-7 parents have the strongest influence, from 7-11 teachers and coaches, and from 11-16 their peers. This makes sense because as their world widens, they are met with forces outside of the home that have new and different ideas that sometimes reinforce what was taught at home and sometimes challenge them.

But what about subjects that are never taught at home?

Topics that are left OUT at home are left UP to others. Where there is a void of influence at home, it will be taken up by the culture at large.

I encourage parents to think about a sponge being in the mind of their children. It’s up to parents to either fill that sponge with the ideas about their sexuality that the parents want them to have, or else their children will absorb whatever they may pick up on the playground, or the next click on the computer. I don’t say this to frighten parents, but to open them up to the great opportunity that is before them. Before the hormones kick in, before the culture has it’s turn, you can have the power of the first impression.You have the chance to fill the sponge…drop by drop!

If you need some encouraging resources, please go to www.maryflo.org

On Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of this week I will be interviewed by Dennis Rainey on his radio program, Family Life Today. It was a great pleasure to meet him last spring when we recorded this interview, and he was very gracious to me in my first national radio experience. If you live in the Dallas area, it will be on KCBI at noon, or you can go to www.familylife.com and listen at your convenience!

Hope you’ll tune in…

My original plan was to say nothing at all and hope for the best.

It had worked well for my parents…

Now, 25 years later, I consider this work to be one of the greatest surprises and joys in my life. This year I have had the privilege of speaking 37 times to various groups from Houston to Fargo and to meet young parents of the next generation who are teaching their own children what they want them to know about sex. Hopefully they will be encouraged and equipped to share with their children that this mysterious union is a blessing designed by God for marriage. But truthfully, I leave parents with the choice to deliver whatever message THEY think is the most important.

Twenty five years ago my daughters were 4 and 1, and Davis was but a twinkle in his daddy’s eye (do people say that anymore?). I know that as Dave and I attempted to communicate with our own children we often failed miserably, and missed opportunities because it took time for us to gain the confidence that this was the right path. May you, dear reader, take confidence that this is a good strategy for parenting. I believe even the most flawed attempt at talking to your children about sex is far better than leaving such an important part of parenting to a slick movie at school.

These are your children, and they want and need to hear your voice to give context to this subject.

My goal is simply for parents to get started…I hope you have started.

I am forever grateful to every parent who has come at sometime during these 25 years. We have had some wonderful conversations haven’t we? I have learned so much from you and you have blessed me and this work with your presence. May I slice you a piece of cake?

Fortunately, Clemson and Greenville are about thirty minutes from each other. So, we got to visit Meg, Travis, and our granddaughter, Ridley! What a JOY she is!!! And one happy baby, I might add.

After Greenville, we made the easy hour and a half drive up to Charlotte, North Carolina to visit our middle daughter, Jill and her husband Ryan. Pretty cute couple, wouldn’t you say?

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Believe it or not, Davis brought home a lady friend from college. That is, he brought home his dog named Lady. She is a Treeing Walker Coonhound, and we have absolutely fallen for her!

For the Fourth of July weekend, we all gathered again in North Carolina and had a wonderful time in the charming town of Linville. We did hiking, swimming, golfing, biking, and of course plenty of time playing with Ridley. (Our new favorite pastime.)

Ridley’s First Fourth of July!!

Pops and Grandmommy just ate her up!

So grateful that even though our children live far away from us, they are close to each other, and they live in WONDERFUL places to visit!

A change of seasons brings a change of schedules and routines. Maybe you can sleep a little later, maybe you have to get up earlier to beat the heat and make swimming lessons on time. But whatever the case, summer is usually a change for young children and their parents. If you have school age children, then it’s nice to know you can stop asking  them if they have any homework to do.

That question gets so old.

YOU, however, are not off the hook, and as your friend I may need to remind you of a few homework assignments that are due by Labor Day!

1. We’ll start with your writing assignment. Some of you have already turned yours in, but a few of you still need to write your “message”.  You need to answer  the question, “What do I want my children to know about sex if they are growing up in my family?” One sentence only. Memorize for future conversations with your children.

2. There will be a vocabulary quiz each Friday. Be sure you are using respectful words when you talk about bodies, and minus ten if you only use “wingy-wangy-words” for body parts. I’m sure you will all get A’s on this.

3.  Take your children to Farmer’s Market and find something you have never eaten before…give it a try. While you’re at it you can get extra credit for finding time to talk about the seeds of that fruit or vegggie, and if you actually plant the seeds and grow something in the back yard you can go to the head of the class. Make keen observations about the fact that there are seeds and eggs inside of all living things.

Don’t you love Field Trips? Good, because here’s  another one.

4.  Visit a family with a newborn baby (they will let you come if you bring them dinner!), then engage your child in a conversation about babies as you drive home. Topics can range from why we wash our hands before we touch babies to who the baby looks like, but you will get bonus points if you talk about birth or conception in any way. Remember, just the most basic biology and your values.

5.  Speaking of biology…you might want to check out a resource at www.maryflo.org. The book is Questions Kids Ask About Sex, and it will meet your Biology requirement for all the information you will need to answer those questions. My Simple Truths resources are also available on that website, and they will suite every learning style.

That just about does it, but  let’s review:

Your message, vocabulary, birth, reproduction, conception.  It’s going to be quite a summer!

Just don’t let the dog eat your homework.

The social media can be overwhelming to me, but my friends are helping me along. There is a new Facebook Page for my book, and you can LIKE IT!

What does that mean exactly?

Right now 3 people like it, so if you hurry, you could be one of the ORIGINAL  “like-ers”. Wouldn’t that be fun? There would be 4 if I liked myself, but that feels kind of self-serving. Is there a Facebook-Book-of-Manners I can follow? Also I would like vocabulary lessons..wall, post, status?

I’m not going to check it everyday to see how many people like it,  because that could put a damper on my naturally upbeat personality.

However, if you ever have a question you want to ask me, this would be a GREAT place to do it. Just send me a message on the Facebook page, and then I’ll post you an answer… is that the right word?  Maybe your question is the one that millions (up beat AND tends to exaggerate) are wondering…so ask away!

Find me on Facebook at… Simple Truths with Mary Flo Ridley…we have just set it up, so I hope it works!

And I hope you like it.

Here is the link: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Simple-Truths-with-Mary-Flo-Ridley/210505225634085