Archive for January, 2010

Also for ONEness


Third week of  Frequent Question Friday…and we have a FAQ that causes many parents to pause.

“Is sex ONLY for having children?”

Don’t you  remember being horrified that your parents actually “did this” 3 times? They must have…they have 3 children!!!

OH            MY              GOODNESS      %#!%#@#!!!!!!!

The big secret, mystery, and surprise  is this:  By God’s design,  sex is for ONENESS and for FRUITFULNESS. This is an essential part of marriage…for joy, wonder, and children. This is not for dating,  or for experiments,  or for cheep thrills..but it is giving your whole self for your whole life.

We didn’t invent it, and we can’t fully explain it..but that is what it is.

Let’s don’t leave that part out,  for goodnes sake!

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“That’s not true…”

I didn’t see all of the President’s State of the Union address last night, so I checked the news this morning to see what I missed. The BIG story was that Supreme Court Justice Alito actually shook his head and mouthed the words, “That’s not true.” while President Obama was making a statement about a recent Supreme Court decision.

I’m not going to get into politics this morning. I just want us to consider this brief scenario in light of  our parenting.

Do we sit in silence as the culture makes statements that would contradict our family values or do our children know where we stand?  Are we ever afraid to shake our heads or raise our eyebrows with concern? Does the pressure to conform to our culture become overwhelming, or do we state confidently what we believe is true?

Without much fanfare or a long lecture, Justice Alito respectfully made his opinion known. With a simple head shake and three words…we know where he stands.

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Home Made Soup


It’s a mild 58 degrees in Dallas today, but they tell us a big “weather event” is on it’s way…time for soup and grilled cheese! Here is my easy vegetable beef soup with wild rice:

Brown about a pound of ground beef. Drain & set aside

Dice (really small pieces) 2 stalks of celery, 2 large carrots, 1/2  onion & 2 cloves of garlic, and saute in pan with olive oil, salt, pepper.

In a large soup pot, put browned beef, sautéed veggies, plus 1 can of Rotel tomatoes, 1 can of black-eyed peas, 1 can of black beans, & 1 can of shoe-peg corn.

Add 2 quarts of water.

add 1 box of Uncle Ben’s Wild Rice (with seasoning packet), and 2 heaping tablespoons of “Better than Bouillon” (beef flavor)

Bring to a boil, and then turn down to a simmer for 20 min.

Serve with grilled cheese (I’ll take mine… American cheese on rye)

Stay warm!

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Meet the Fam…

OK…between NFL playoff games I  was browsing through my blog, and realized that this will be post #25!!!  How do  I celebrate?

Like I celebrate every other milestone…bring in the family! Oh…you all haven’t met my family yet? Well, here they are:

Looking at this picture, Dave is the proud Papa right in the middle. Dave and I met in 1979,  married in 1980, and will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary this July. He is less talkative, more athletic, better read, more disciplined, and has more of a sweet tooth than I do. He runs almost every morning, then makes coffee for me, prays for our family, and works for Southwest Airlines with a passion. If he has another love…it’s golf. He dreams of Scotland, and of St. Andrews. I’m not too jealous…because it makes him so happy, and his golf friends are some of my favorite people. I love to watch the Masters with him, but I’m not a fan of that Disney-golf-challenge-show-thing that he loves.

God has blessed us in a thousand ways with our three children… Meg, Jill and Davis.

Meg will be 28 this year…wow.. that’s how old I was when she was born! (She is to the left of Dave, in the green ). After graduating from UVA as an English major, and interning for Laura Bush in D.C.,  Meg went to South Carolina to serve the church, and is currently the assistant to the pastor at the Downtown Presbyterian Church. Happily married to darling Travis in 2007…they live in Greenville, S.C. with their handsome, male, large-ish, yellow lab, Hatch. 

 Jill, will be 25 this  year….how can that be? ( Far right in the picture) Jill graduated from Furman University as an Art History major, and then got her nursing degree.  Jill has been working at Riley Children’s Hospital in Indianapolis as a Pediatric oncology nurse for the last 6 months. Also happily married since 2007, she and her precious husband, Ryan are moving this week to Charlotte, NC with their sweet, female, small-ish yellow lab, Callie.

Our son, Davis is 21 and is a junior at Clemson University (far left in the picture). He is a political science major who loves music, sports, writing, and his friends. His dream year would be to join his friends at the Masters in the spring, followed by a fishing trip to Colorado in the summer, a fall FULL of football, and then home for the holidays…in front of the fire.

As you get to know us, you’ll hear a lot more about our flaws and quirks. We’ve certainly got our share!

We also have pet stories that may turn you against us…but just know that on my tombstone my children have agreed that it should say, “she tried”.

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Let Parents Tell


Today we’ll address a fear that many parents ask me about. They WANT to talk to their children about sex, but they don’t want their children sharing this information with others.  Can anything be done about that!?


It is tricky to keep this information within our families, but try to help your children understand that every Mom & Dad will get to have these conversations with their own children at a time that they decide is best. Tell them how glad you are that YOU got to be the one to tell them these things, and that their friends’ parents want to do that as well.

Another point to cover with them is that it really would not be appropriate to talk about sex at school, in the carpool, or any place other than within your family. These are considered special family conversations.

But let’s be honest. This will be extremely difficult for some of our chatty-er children.

You know your daughter Emma better than she knows herself, and you just KNOW she is going to go straight to her best friend, Lily and spill all the details as soon as she possibly can….despite your warnings…..what do you do about THAT?

I suggest you call Lily’s mom. Explain the situation fully, and let her know…

she has 24 hours.

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A Beautiful Tapestry

Last Saturday night I had the privilege of speaking to a group of parents at Irving Bible Church. Tapestry is the name of the group, and they minister to families of adopted and foster children. What a beautiful tapestry it was! I want to send a thank you out to Michael and Amy Monroe and also to Kristin and Anthony Violi for their help on every level to me and more importantly to the Tapestry families.

When parents of adopted children and foster children have conversations about birth, reproduction, and conception with their children there are some deeper issues that need to be considered. The intermingled stories of infertility and birth parents give these families more to be aware of, and to prepare for. Thanks to the work of Tapestry, these parents are embracing this daunting task with grace and truth.

We also had our share of fun! Below you”ll find the video clip that opened our evening…can you relate?

Where Do Babies Come From? from Tapestry on Vimeo.

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‘Frequent Questions’ Friday


Welcome to the first edition of…. FREQUENT QUESTIONS FRIDAY!! Each week I’ll try to tackle one of the FAQ’s that come up at the end of my program.  

Let’s see….yes, you in the back…

“We have a 4-year-old daughter and a 7-year-old son. How should I handle it when sexual topics come up and they are both in the room? The other day our 7-year-old was asking about his teacher who is having a baby soon. I wanted to answer him, but didn’t know what to do about the 4-year-old!”

Great question! You want to keep these conversations as natural and easy as possible. When you have more than one child around just answer with the youngest child in mind. Answer the question as if it came from your 4-year-old, and then when you get time alone later with your 7-year-old, you can add more information. For example, in this instance, you might answer in the simplest language possible, but later add more vocabulary,  go into greater detail, and reassure him that he came to the right place for answers. That would be the right time to ask him if he has any more questions.

When we take children away to answer their questions, or tell them ‘we can’t discuss that now’ (although on rare occasions that is appropriate)…we bring more tension to the subject than information.   

Next Question?

Yes, you there … the comment box…

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